Undergraduate Admissions

The other day I was discouraged about my Japanese language abilities, I think because I made some mistakes in class that I thought were really dumb after I realized what I said. After that, I spent some time thinking about my attitude and realized that I have unrealistically high expectations of what I should be able to do. I generally feel like I should never make the same mistake twice; it’s bad enough making it once, so after that I should absolutely remember. This isn’t a policy that I had consciously instituted, but it is something that I’ve been holding myself to. It only struck me recently how absolutely insane of an expectation that is.

People make mistakes speaking all the time, even in their native language. There are tons of people (whose native language is English) who cannot pronounce the word “nuclear” properly (in addition to many other words). Saying things incorrectly must not bother them at all. Because I notice grammar all the time, I’m very conscious of my own usage, regardless of language. I really don’t like sounding like I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Once I realized all of the different things I’m now capable of understanding and expressing in Japanese compared even to right before this semester started, I felt a lot better. I’ve definitely learned a lot. It’s never enough for me, and I don’t know if it ever will be (no matter the subject, there’s always more to know and more to do) but at least I know I’m making progress. Japanese 401 is a lot of work, but the result is that I’m learning a lot more than I feel like I ever did before.

Lately, time just seems to be sailing by. I don’t think it’s going too fast or too slow, but it just keeps on going. I wish I could stop for a minute, but I suspect that things will just keep going like this until the end of the semester. Then after that comes next semester, and after that… I wish I knew.

I got a great new CD recently. It’s by a group called Santa Esmeralda. More cinematically-inclined people may recognize their name from one of their songs (a cover of the song “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood”, originally by…somebody else) having been in Kill Bill Volume 1. I thought it was a really cool song, so I decided to check them out. I ordered one of their CDs on Amazon in August, but it took until just a few days ago for Amazon to track down the CD and get it to me. It’s really interesting music. I don’t know how to describe it with any words other than “epic Spanish disco”. It’s definitely one of those things that I enjoy immensely without any explanation or expectation that anyone will agree with me. In fact, most people would probably think it quite strange.

’cause I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood